On this day, One year ago

I am going to attempt to put my thoughts into words without being all over the place. God has been showing me things for several days leading up to day, November 19th.

On this day, one year ago, Erich and I headed to the obgyn at about 10:00 for our first ultrasound since the beginning of my pregnancy. We were going to find out the sex of our twins. Now, I had not been growing very big, but the doctor still confirmed that she heard two heartbeats every visit that I went. I had no reason to doubt that I would not have two babies when I went into the room. Flashback to that same morning, a little earlier.....

Katie had given me two journals to write to the babies as time went on. So, I wrote in each book the date and how excited we were to find out the sex and that' "God knit you together in my womb over four months ago," so He knew who they were and the surprise was for Erich and me.I was also reading a devotion from a book called "The Joy of My Heart" by Anne Graham Lotz. The verse for the 19th of Nov. was "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9. I remember thinking, "Oh, no, Is God preparing me for something? The actual devotion really meant nothing to me, it was the actual verse that I felt was telling me something. I actually stopped and prayed that all would be okay and dismissed the verse as happenstance....boy is our God NOT a God of happenstance.

So, you know the rest of the story. We went in to the ultrasound and after taking all of Peyton's measurements, etc. the tech. said that it looked like the second baby had stopped growing. She left us in the room for a while to go get the doctor. I just laid on the table and cried and cried, all the while that verse was brought to my mind. Through my tears I told Erich what I had read and how even though God was preparing me for this, I didn't feel ANY better. Well, that was the HARDEST day of our lives, even through the years of not conceiving. It was the week before Thanksgiving, which made for an emotional holiday season. BUT, the story doesn't stop there. Our God is a God of hope and a future. (Sorry this is so long.)

The hope and future that God had for us was this sweet little Peyton that is sitting here smiling at me as I type, after only a 30 min. nap, of course. On Mother's Day this year, the verse I read for Streams in the Desert was Ps 66:12- " We went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance". I thought that was a fitting verse for the blessing of being a mom for the first time.

So, I knew the day was approaching this November, but I couldn't remember the actual date. On Nov. 13th I read Psalms 23:1 from the same book, Joy of my Heart. The author paraphrased and I added my name. "Morgan, trust me, I(God)know what is best. And I am left to wonder why I think I know better than God What's best for me or my loved one". Also in Streams in the Desert the verse was similar. It basically said to remember that no trial has ever been given to anyone that was greater than that person's strength, through God, to endure it.God knows you can withstand your trial, or else he would not have allowed it to happen.

So, here is the cool part. 0n the 17th I decided to look in my journal to see what the date was, and it was the 19th. I re-read what I had written about being knit together in the womb. The verse for the 17th in my Breaking Free devotional was....Jer. 1:5- I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. So, of course, God knew everything that would happen before I did, and even when I did not want to accept it, the two babies turned out to be just one.

On that same devotional, Beth Moore paraphrased the Jer. verse as follows, " My child, I knew every difficulty you would face in life. I suffered each one with you. I loved you and had a plan for your life before you were born. See, I knew all things concerning you before I formed you, and I would never allow any hurt to come into your life that I could not use for eternity. Your story will remain half-finished until you let ME do my half with your hurt. Let Me perfect that which concerns you." So, I now view this verse not only to mean just my baby as I had before, but me also. He knew the outcome of Baby B even when he knit him/her together in my womb...in the same way he ALREADY knew that I would lose that baby when I was in my mom's womb. The enormity of God's love, timing, knowledge, and faithfulness is almost too big for my feeble mind to grasp. I hope I am even making sense as I type.

The glory of God is shown also in today's Streams in the Desert, Nov. 19 " Though you may have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again." Psalm 71:20
Several thoughts throughout the devotion that were written are: "Never doubt God! Never say that He has forsaken or forgotten you or think He is unsympathetic. He will restore your life again." Also, "He will turn to you again and comfort you. And when He does, your heart that has forgotten how to sing will break forth in thankful and jubilant song."

A year ago today, I was seeing bitter troubles that I thought was some kind of cruel joke being played on us after all that we had been through to conceive two babies> I Questioned why God would allow this and so many more bitter days and days of crying out to Him. I can honestly say God comforted us and with the birth of Peyton and ALL the joy this sweet miracle boy brings us He has turned my heart into thankful and jubilant song. If Peyton is the only child God blesses us with it will be enough to keep me singing forever.


On another cool note, my mom found this picture of her taken when she was 27 and trying to have a baby. They tried for 7 years before I was born. She gave me the picture during my fertility issues, which happened to be taken on the morning of her first infertility apt. many years ago. I keep that photo in one of my devotionals to remind me of God's faithfulness to my mom...who now has 4 kids and 3 grandkids.

Great is His Faithfulness and yours for reading this long blog.....

Chocolate Advice and Pics

For those of you who like chocolate and mint together you have GOT to try the Hershey's Bliss creme de menthe! They are to die for. Also, the mint kisses are awesome. I think Kresta turned me on to those a few years ago. In my chocoholic state, I bought a bag of both and immediately complained that my face looked chunky in pictures.....

As promised, here are a few pics of what is new with Peyton. This morning he maneuvered underneath the glass table and then became stuck under the window. It was cute.

Sick? Who me?

Well, after Erich and Peyton having the crud for weeks, I officially have it. I was talking to Jaime on the phone and started coughing....and haven't quit. The flim is killing my throat. Nice picture huh? Today the internet has been out and phone all day..until Erich came home and gave it the magical touch. Bellsouth will be here Thursday to fix it for good. So, I have been painting and playing with Peyton all day. I can't say what I painted because someone might read this and know their Christmas gift. Sorry! Peyton has gotten AWESOME in his little red sports car. He flies around the kitchen, down the hall, and all over Grace's toys and food. He loves to take the towels off of my appliances. He just rolls around pulling them all off of the racks. He also tortures Grace by pushing her food bowl all around the kitchen while she is trying to eat out of it. That is his payback for her taking all of his toys. I'll post a pic tomorrow b/c the card reader on this computer doesn't work. Also, P was in the floor today and Grace kept sniffing him and he laughed hysterically because Grace was tickling him. It was so cute. Her ears touched his face and he went to laughing. Those two are great friends.

great finds

Went to Hobby Lobby today and got lots of 50% off. They had glitter products and glues on sale. They also had ALL Christmas ornaments and boxes for the same. I got several turquoise glass balls for my Christmas table. I bought one snowman to put Peyton's photo in it. I also bought a terra cotta pot and paint. I saw this cute idea and want to try it out. If it's cute, i'll post it.

Also went to Kolhs looking for me some long sleeved shirts. Found one for me and lots on sale for P. He is in need of 6-9 month cotton pants so I got those and several outfits for 9.99. Then I had a 15% coupon and saved additional. Thought that was pretty good.


Went to lunch with Dad and Beth. We usually try to eat together on Fridays.

So, now I am making cookies and Erich is home early. We are watching Taylor Swift and Deaf Leopard on CMT.

Happy Friday!!!!!!

Peyton VS Grace

Grace has always loved eating, tearing, and fighting with paper....of any kind. Well, Peyton has decided he wants to give it a try also. When we go get the mail he wants to eat all of the envelopes. Usually if there is a catalog or something I will give it to him to play with. Grace loves this because she proceeds to take it from Peyton and tear it into shreds. This was great for a while, but now that Peyton is older he fights back. Sometimes he cries when Grace takes his paper and sometimes he just takes it back. Peyton isn't taking Grace's tricks sitting down....well, he is sitting down, but he's not taking it anymore.

change of address

Due to security reasons, Erich made me change my blog address. It is now livefromthezoo1.blogspot.com

Ain't Goin' Down Till the Sun Comes Up

That is my new theme song for Peyton. Poor guy with his ear infection and congestion just can't stay asleep! And you know it is bad when he gets up at 5 and is back down for a nap at 6. I hope this round of antibiotics helps him get better. At one point last night, I had brought him into the pack in play at the end of our bed, both Erich and I were up and to Peyton because of his screams. We didn't know the other was already there. Pray that my little guy gets better.

On another note, I finished one scrapbook page last night and almost finished another one. I am on a role, I just hope I can stay on it. I also have to print invitations for my sister's engagement party and I told her i would make her wedding scrapbook album...as long as she got me the pics. as we went along.

Funny thing, my brother called and wanted us to come visit SC soon. I told him I didn't think I had any vacation days left to take.....he said, "Wait a minute, you don't work." I thought I had gotten him. He's coming home for Thanksgiving anyway so I'll see him soon.

Music?

ok-I am trying to add music to my site. I have signed up for playlist.com, but how do I add it to my blog? I have the song and everything, I just can't get it to show up anywhere. Help! Jaime, I love your funny song.

Riding the Blog Train

This is just a random picture to see if I could actaully download an image. It worked!

Well, it's official. I know have way too many irons in the fire on this computer. Between facebook, myspace, email, uploading pictures, and now blogging, my house will officially "go to the dog". I say that because Grace has more toys scattered around this house than Peyton does. I really want to be scrapbooking while Peyton is asleep, but since Lettie showed me how to do this today, I figured I would give it a shot. I don't know how consistent I will be at posting, but at least I've gotten started. So, any advice on adding cute things will be accepted...and appreciated.